Today is the 8th day of Syawal and many things have happened this week. First and foremost, it has been a very hot week! Ramadhan was much cooler with lotsa rain and cloudy skies.
The saddest news is that my uncle passed away yesterday morning. He had a cardiac arrest about one half months ago and was recovering in IJN before they moved him to GH. After awhile, the doctors said there was no more hope and he was taken off the life support machine. Yesterday he went away peacefully and I think the pace was good as all family members were prepared. But prepared as you are there is no way to express the loss felt.
When I was carrying Ali, 3 years ago, my youngest uncle died of cancer. My aunty also passed away on my birthday this year with cancer. This time that my uncle passed away I am carrying another child. There is the relation between life and death. God giveth some and he taketh some.
It was a sad occasion at the graveyard yesterday. All the relatives were wishing each other Selamat Hari Raya amidst tears and looks of sorrow. Everyone was gathered to pay their last respects to my uncle and bid his family well but in the end, the man is left all alone in that grave, waiting for the angels to come.
Death is a very sad thing ... but it is inevitable. It comes no matter what, it is just a matter of when. Only God knows that. They say we must celebrate life when we have it and at the same time religion teaches us to work for the hereafter as that is permanent. It is up to each of us to find that balance and make sure that our life here does not forget what comes after, which is the ultimate.
Even in death we celebrate the living, We visit and attend tahlils to extend our prayers to the dead and to extend our hands to the living in hopes that their burden of losing that loved one is eased. I have suffered losses although not of immediate family but of uncles and aunties and of course grandparents.
I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose my mother or father or anyone else closer to me. I cannot imagine how I would take it and accept it. Life deals us the cards and it is up to us to take those cards and play them. To make them work the best for us. God has given us this life and it is up to us to play it the best way we have been taught. I hope and pray we are playing our cards right.
2 comments:
Dear Yati,
My condolence for your loss. No words can describe the feeling of losing immediate family members (parents, siblings, spouse etc).
My father left us at the age of 51 & 2 days before his planned Haj trip wid my Mom & that fact alone crushed my mom's heart for a looong time and we, his children as we know the hardship he went thru to pay for the trip.
He left me (being the eldest), a scribbled to-do list in case he doesn't return frm the trip. He prolly had sensed it, I think, being the organised person that he was.
What I am trying to say is, sometimes the cards that we get may not be perfect but it is up to us to 'strategise" and play it right.
All we want is fond memories or no feeling of regret whatsoever. My late father, for example; was indeed a diff. man. I lost count the no. of times, me (being the determined doter) & him clashed over opinions. We were like 2 worlds apart!
I even successfully psychoed myself to translate his anger,remarks,comments as sharahan kasih-sayang (just to get back at my sister sajer) & also becoz my Ustazah said ingat & doa ibu bapa day in day out! So much headache rite?
Point is, I believe in today's world we need to say it out. tell people we care about this: I care, I love you although U can be a pain sometimes.
The problem wid Malay culture, showing care or concern can be tagged as 'jiwang' but I think it's about time we put a stop to that. Just look at the cold society around us! sigh..
Becoz trust me, when our loved ones "moved on", we'l feel so much relief & happy that at least they "moved on" knowing they were loved. Miss them we do, but better still accompany each thought with AlFatihah & a little doa.
Cheer up & congrats on yr pregnancy!
Thanks you my dear friend ....
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